I wasn't always in love with Colton Calloway; I was in love with his younger brother, Kyle, first. Kyle was my first one true love, my first in every way.
Then, one stormy August night, he died, and the person I was died with him.
Colton didn't teach me how to live. He didn't heal the pain. He didn't make it okay. He taught me how to hurt, how to not be okay, and, eventually, how to let go.
My thoughts: When I started reading this book I already knew I would need a large amount of tissues for this adventure. But I couldn’t have guessed how large this amount would be.
We all find out straight from the description that Nell’s best friend, first boyfriend, first everything, Kyle, dies. And that’s awfully sad just the way it is. What I didn’t expect at all is to have the chance to get to know Kyle very well, to get to love him and learn about his life with Nell, their happy moments and their teenage insecurities before the tragedy struck.
This aspect transforms what’s already a sad start into a heart wrenching, soul eating catastrophe. It breaks your heart and makes you cry and go hug your boyfriend or husband in the middle of the night just to hear his heartbeats. Not many books can do that to me, but this one did.
I wanted nothing more than to climb into the box with him and quit breathing, find him in whatever came after life.
Hot heart-blood leaked from my face. From my eyes and my nose and my mouth. Not tears, because those would never stop. This was just liquid heartbreak seeping from my pores.
I wouldn’t cry from the pain in my heart, because that wouldn’t fade. It only grew heavier and harder and sharper with every passing minute, hour, day.
I didn’t want to keep reading after Kyle died. I didn’t want to see Nell delving in pain. I didn’t even want to meet Colton, didn’t think he could match Kyle in anything, or replace him – nobody could do that – or be of any help to Nell, or whatever. But I did continue the reading, mainly because I was so sad that I couldn’t even sleep.
And I was right. Colton isn’t a match to Kyle at all, he’s something else: a little less and so much more at the same time, a tormented soul and a true survivor who will make you love him even if you’ll feel like you betray Kyle. The alternate point of view between him and Nell gave me the possibility to understand him better, and he’s truly amazing!
I could write a song, and her name would be the music. I could sing, strum a guitar, and her body would be the melody.
I almost falter at that first meeting of our eyes, but I don’t. I meet her gaze, continue the song. I’m singing it to her, as I reach the final chorus. “I…and love…and you.”
“You’re a lot of things, Nell Hawthorne. You’re complex. You’re cute. You’re lovely. You’re funny. You’re strong. You’re beautiful.” She seems to be struggling with words and emotions. I keep going. “You’re tortured. You’re hurting. You’re amazing. You’re talented. You’re sexy as fuck.”
The book did disappoint me a little bit in the end, but it's not the story, nor the writing style, because Jasinda does an amazing job at describing everything, and I mean everything from the excruciating pain to the most sincere love. It's some scenes that I'm sure most of you won't share my opinion about. It may also be the fact that I found some of the story overly dramatized.
Anyway, with or without these issues, “Falling Into You” is an epic read. That’s the beauty of this book: the fact that it makes you forget of any inconsistencies, and just feel. Like you’re there, like you can’t get through the pain yourself. And that’s why it deserves the million stars I’d give it if I could.
I want more. Dare I? I dare.